Sometimes I pretend I’m rich….

I go online shopping and fill up my cart, just don’t check out. I go to super expensive outdoor malls and walk around and browse like I’m actually going to buy something.I get manicures when I find enough change in the sofa….

It’s hard living in a community where budgets aren’t exactly the norm. We are completely house poor, but it is SO worth it. Our house is rock solid and amazing. And huge. And in such a peaceful, green, friendly neighborhood. My sons will go to amazing schools and we get to pick between THREE or even more synagogues.

When we moved here, we were really hopeful. Hopeful that Geoff’s career as a Tax Accountant would take off and it completely  has – but we didn’t expect for me to have to stop working. First it was Eli. He was diagnosed with Severe Persistent Asthma, Dog, Cat, Mold, Dust and Milk Allergy at 6 months. He was not well from birth at all and couldn’t attend daycare. And then Jonah got his Asperger’s diagnosis in December-ish. There was no way I could work full time anymore.

So now I work from home. I make nothing. But I love my company and the people I work for. I don’t want to give it up. When Eli goes off to kindergarten, I’ll want to have that for myself. And with that company. But lately it’s just one big lump in my throat. I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. And it’s hard to have it over your head all the time. I don’t get to leave my work at the office. It’s here, staring me in the face.

Anyway, I think someday I’ll be able to shop at those stores I covet. But for now, I’ll just window shop. It’s sort of fun 🙂

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